As a kid, I loved keeping diaries. I went through them all: the one with the lock and key, the one with the voice password, then your traditional ‘leather bound book’. Unfortunately, I never kept them for long. I’d write about the boys I had crushes on and the friends that had been mean to me at lunchtime and then a few weeks later I’d hate the boy I had a crush on and my friends would be nice to me so I’d rip out all the pages and throw them in the bin, terrified one of my brothers would find my diary and share it with the world (I really can relate to Lara Jean from ‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’). But recently I found one that still had a few pages in it. It was given to me in September 2010 as a gift from a family friend after I’d just signed with the Thunderbirds when I was 16. I was finishing up year 11 and was just about to start what was, in hindsight, probably the biggest year of my life.
I still remember the day I found out my dream was coming true. I was leaving a check-up with my surgeon a few months after I’d had some of my meniscus taken out of my knee and was feeling pretty down. I’d been so lucky as a kid to never get injured and also rarely got sick. I’d probably missed a total of two days of school up until then. I didn’t know how to handle being injured and I hated not being able to run around with my friends and of course play netball. The netball season was over and I’d missed the end of it with my injury so when I got into my car and had a phone call from my mum telling me she’d just had a call from Jane Woodlands-Thompson, the coach of the Thunderbirds at the time, I was very confused. “That’s nice of her to check in,” I remember saying, thinking she must be asking how my rehab was going. “She called to see if you wanted to be in the Thunderbirds next season,” Mum finally said. I nearly dropped my phone. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I’d always dreamed of playing professional netball, writing it on school assignments and bragging when I was put in the ‘9 Thunderbirds’ class at my middle school because “that meant I’d play for them one day”. But no matter how much you want it to happen, you never really think it will come true, especially at the age of 16.
I became very popular very quickly at school after the announcement was made. I’d always had a lot of friends but suddenly people were stopping me in the hallway to congratulate me; I’d developed the nickname ‘Tbird’, and my teachers were putting up pictures of me from the newspaper in their classrooms. Looking back, it was a pretty incredible time in my life. There was a media conference at my school, then Behind the News, a local kids news show, came to film my year 11 maths class (for a laugh check out https://www.abc.net.au/btn/classroom/netball-star/10535720) and I was a guest on Totally Wild, a kids’ animal show. At the time, I was the youngest player to ever be contracted to a professional team, so a bit of fuss was made around it all. Everything that year was new and exciting, and I relished every experience and opportunity I was given. When I read back over the entries in my diary from that first year in the Thunderbirds, it’s crazy to see how much some things have changed and how much some things have stayed the same. There are entries about 18thbirthday parties, boys, homework I was struggling with and a lotof talk about netball.
On August 9, 2011 I wrote, “It’s mid-year exam week this week so no normal school. I’m not playing any netball at the moment because of my knee and am finding it really difficult to motivate myself to do my rehab program and other forms of exercise.” I actually had to laugh out loud reading this. Here I am, nine years later and nearly 9 months post ACL reconstruction, reading about my knee. A few pages later I write a random note about things that I have to do on Monday. There’s stuff about exam study, replying to netball emails, booking a physio appointment and then after telling myself to ‘eat healthy’ and ‘get lots of sleep’ I write in capital letters “ENJOY GAME AGAINST DIAMONDS – nothing to lose, haven’t played for 4 months. BE HAPPY – DON’T STRESS”. It’s weird how much reading those words impacted me. It was as if my 16-year-old self was telling my 26-year-old self the exact same thing at a time in my life just when I needed it most. I’ve been starting to get into more specific netball training lately and had to remind myself to stop being so hard on myself and just enjoy being back on court. I’m beginning to think I was a lot wiser all those years ago.
It’s funny how nine years ago feels like just yesterday in some ways but a lifetime in others. In that same diary, after a few more dramatic entries about finding my love for netball again and falling in love at an intercol party, I randomly write a ‘To Do List’. While I was expecting to find a list of chores I needed to do or things I needed to buy, the list instead consisted of:
19/7/12
To Do List:
- Sponsor a child
- Get a drum kit
- Get fit
- Eat healthy
- Delete friends off facebook
- Throw out clothes
- Read Richard Branson
- Read Steve Jobbs
- Go on a road trip
- Write a book
- Travel – Greek islands, Europe, America, south America, Spain
- Camp America
- Meet Justin Bieber or One Direction
- Visit Sponsor child
- Start/be on a kids show
- Make Australian 21&Under team
While I don’t see myself achieving a lot of those goals (I think the Bieber dream is over and starting a kids show could be a little ambitious), it’s pretty humbling to know that I’ve already ticked a fair few off. I sponsored a child from Tanzania for about four years, I owned a drum kit for a total of two months (my parents couldn’t put up with the horrendous noise), I’ve been on multiple road trips and travelled to almost all the destinations I wanted to, I made the Australian 21s team and probably most significantly I wrote a book (didn’t you know?). While I still have way too many ‘friends’ on Facebook, tend to keep clothes for ten years longer than I need to and am on a constant drive to get fit and eat healthy, I’d like to think I’ve done pretty well. It makes me regret ripping all those pages out all those years ago. Who know what a thirteen-year-old me might have dreamt of doing… moving to Sydney? Captaining the Swifts? I just hope she’s proud of who I’ve turned out to be. Pardon the pun.
Until next time,
Maddy xx